7 Suggestions for Low-Stress Holidays

06 Dec 7 Suggestions for Low-Stress Holidays

(Published in the Holiday 2024 West Coast Families Magazine – Page 14 WestCoastFamilies.com/Holiday-2024/)
It happens every year — with the change of the season from summer to fall, comes a change in the focus of therapy. The closer we get to the winter holidays; the more clients talk about the stress they feel.

There is beauty and charm in the holidays, but there are added tasks, challenges and stresses as well.

There are two topics that come up most frequently for my parent clients: the first is family visits and the second is the kids being off school for two weeks or more. I am going to focus on the latter, offering a few suggestions which will hopefully make this time of year less stressful, more manageable and even enjoyable.

1. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.
   Just like you must put the oxygen mask on yourself when needed on an airplane before helping others, you must take care of your physical and mental health first, before taking care of your family. Granted, this is not an easy task when you parent young children, but it is necessary.
   Here are a couple of ideas of how to do so:
   • Plan to have breaks with the help of others. Do not wait until you feel completely depleted. Try to schedule these breaks ahead of time.
   • Limit how much you will be hosting and visiting others. It is not only okay, but may be necessary, to say “No” to some requests and invitations to avoid feeling over-whelmed.
   • Find out or remind yourself of the activities that re-charge you and make those a priority.
   • It is not selfish or indulgent to do so but the responsible thing to do, as you cannot fill others’ cups if yours is empty.
2. Stick to a routine as much as possible.
   With kids being home every day, the routine will be different. But having some routine is essential to increase a sense of calm and minimize chaos. Keeping a schedule provides kids with a sense of predictability and safety. So, try to get up, go outside, have meals and snacks and go to bed at regular times, as much as possible.
3. Plan an outdoor activity every day.
   Barring severe weather warnings, going outside every day will provide a change of scenery, less boredom, a way to expend physical energy and lead to a calmer time at home. Spending time in nature has been proven to increase a sense of wellbeing, calm and elevate mood.
4. Limit screen time.
   I know that this is a challenging one because kids want it, and it can also give you a break. This is the reason I am not suggesting a complete ban on screen time, but rather, a limit. You probably already know that too much screen time often makes kids more agitated and increases misbehaviour. Watching screens close to bedtime may also disrupt sleep.
5. Plan age-appropriate fun indoor activities.
   You know your kids and yourself best. You might be into arts and crafts, baking, dressing up or reading. Also, you may want to try putting happy music on and dancing with your kids for a while. It can lift everyone’s mood even on the dreariest day!
6. Make sure to have healthy meals and snacks on hand.
   Kids often ask for sweets, desserts and salty snacks like chips. While these may provide a few moments of calm and satisfaction, they are bound to result in sharp fluctuations in blood sugar levels, which may cause stress, irritability, hyperactivity and fatigue. Nutritious and healthy food and snacks contribute to better behaviour as well as better physical health.
7. Ditch perfectionism.
   This is a suggestion for life in general that is especially important to adopt during the holidays. The aspiration for a picture-perfect Christmas, or any other holiday, is bound to fail when you have little ones. Expect kids to have meltdowns over nothing, drop food on the floor, be disappointed with something you were sure they would appreciate, etc.

   Expect yourself to feel frustrated, forget to do certain things and run out of stamina or patience (or both). When you ditch perfectionism, you are allowing yourself to be less self-critical and to enjoy your imperfect kids and your precious time with them.

Happy imperfect holidays!

Dr. Michal (Michelle) Regev is a Registered Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist, practicing in BC. Dr. Regev has helped mothers, fathers and families overcome mental health and relationship challenges for the past 30 years. She has been an avid supporter of women and their mental health care and has presented in numerous conferences and workshops worldwide.