Planting the Seed for Managing Parenting Stress

Planting the Seed for Managing Parenting Stress - by Dr. Michal Regev

21 Oct Planting the Seed for Managing Parenting Stress

(This article was published in the Fall 2024 Issue of West Coast Families Magazine. See it on their website at https://westcoastfamilies.com/fall-2024/ — Turn to page 16.)

It is no secret that parenting can be stressful. In fact, the US Surgeon General recently published a public health advisory about parenting stress, like the health advisories about gun violence and smoking.

Wait, what?

How can parenting, which has been practiced since the beginning of humankind, be a health hazard?

Well, it turns out that today’s parenting stress is taking a bigger toll on parents’ health than before. The reason for this is likely that in addition to common parenting challenges like keeping children safe, feeding them and providing them with shelter, today’s parents worry about the effects of social media on their kids, the cost and scarcity of childcare, the rising cost of everyday necessities and the competing demands of childcare and career.

In an survey conducted by the American health authorities, parents were twice as likely as non-parenting adults to report being over-whelmed by stress and consumed by financial worries. For example, 42 percent of surveyed parents, but only 20 percent of non-parenting adults endorsed the statement: “Most days I am so stressed I can’t function.”

While U.S. health authorities have taken note and have new policies to help parents cope with their stress, we have not heard from the Canadian Chief Public Health Officer on this issue.

While we are waiting for official acknowledgements and stress-relief policies to be made, we must take measures into our own hands to ensure that we manage our parenting stress to the best of our abilities. We owe it to ourselves and to our families.

Getting Creative

In the summer issue of WestCoast Families I wrote about three quick ways to overcome stress; breathing techniques, mindful meditation and gratitude practice. Now I would like to discuss creativity as a stressbuster. I do not just mean parenting creativity like making a new dish from leftovers or coming up with an indoors fun activity when your outdoors plans were doused by a downpour.

What I mean is you as an individual, engaging in a creative activity just for you.

“Yeah, right,” you might say to yourself as you roll your eyes in disbelief. “I barely have time to pee and now she’s telling me to engage in creative activities?”

Ok, you are right. Most parents are not able to spend hours painting, sculpting, doing pottery or writing poetry. But what if you knew that becoming more creative could add years and quality to your life?

Walt Disney said, “If you can visualize it, if you can dream it, there’s some way to do it!”

So let’s start by visualizing yourself engaging in a creative activity. Can you close your eyes for a few moments and visualize yourself doing something creative? What is it you are doing? Where are you? Are you by yourself or with other people? How does it feel?

Now can you write down a description of your visualization? Choose a title for your description. Maybe it reads: “This will be my creative activity,” or “This is me painting.”

Finally, put this little write-up somewhere where you will see it every day from now on. This is called “Planting the Seed,” and is the first step in every goal and future endeavour.

In the meantime, you may want to spend a few minutes here and there experimenting with your creativity.

Here are three quick and simple ideas of how to do that:

  1. Photography – Think about creative ways to change your photography habits. Try different angles, different backgrounds or have your kids wear funny clothes and accessories. How about taking photos when you are doing errands or on a walk? The outcome doesn’t really matter. It’s the creative engagement that counts.
  2. Creative food preparation – I do not suggest you become a chef (unless you want to) but you could be creating fun designs with food, whether for kids or adults. Like creating a face on a slice of bread or cutting fruits and veggies in a fun way. Use your own designs or look up fun food designs on the internet.
  3. Creative hairstyling – Experiment with your kids’ or your own hairstyle. Use different accessories or colours. It’s fun and easy to reverse if you don’t like it.

The most important thing for stress reduction is thinking more creatively. Perfection is neither required nor desired.

Read the full U.S. Surgeon General public health advisory at
https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/parents-under-pressure.pdf


Dr. Michal RegevDr. Michal (Michelle) Regev is a Registered Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist, practicing in BC. Dr. Regev has helped mothers, fathers and families overcome mental health and relationship challenges for 30 years. She has been an avid supporter of women and their mental health care, and has presented at numerous conferences and workshops worldwide.